AGAPE

I haven’t written in awhile and not to sound like a broken record but I’ve been busy.

About little over a month ago my life was dull and I wasn’t up to much. I prayed to God to let me work more hours and get my life a jump start. My prayer was answered in a BIG way!!

I started to work more hours at SA. I probably work about 25hrs at SA on top of my full time job.  I realize this makes me a bit crazy and I also know that my family and friends are starting to worry about me but there is no need. November is a bad month for me my car insurance is due…that sucks my bank account dry. Plus, I’m trying to pay off my new washer and dryer. Okay, so I don’t know why I’m justifying the reason I’ve been working so much…but anywho.

I got an IPOD. I don’t know what I was thinking. I love it! I’m still downloading my CD’s…it might take awhile. I got the black Apple IPOD Classic. It’s great and I would recommend anyone purchasing one; it beats carrying around CD’s.

I’m going to be applying for the Master’s program. I pray that I get accepted. I really want my Master’s so I can get out of being case manager and do bigger things.

I’m tired and have nothing more….

God Don’t Let Me Get ME!!!!

I found out this weekend that one of my friends is racist. I was so shocked….I become speechless. How could someone I know someone I love (as a person) be racist. I can NOT be friends with someone like this. I don’t respect him anymore so therefore I cannot be his friend. I thought all this bullshit racism was over. I will never understand how someone can hate another human based on the color of their skin. The mind set is far beyond my thinking capacity I can’t comprehend how someone can think like that. I don’t/can’t think like that. God created everyone so if your racist and you hate then you hate God, you hate what God created, you hate God’s love for others, you hate God’s image(b/c we all are created in God’s image), you Hate GOD. Just because the color of someone’s skin I’ll never understand…..I talked with several friends and they given me the same non-chalant answer, “You can’t push your beliefs on someone, you can’t tell someone it’s wrong, you can’t stop being friends with some just b/c they’re racist.” Bull fucking shit…It’s WRONG!!! I work with people (at both jobs) that struggle with racism and seeing them suffer day to day….the hatred people have toward them. The look in their eyes it’s like their soul is lost…and my heart breaks……GOD don’t let me get ME!!!!

Lord, help me to see with my heart for eyes deceive me and dam my soul.

 I was sitting down watching tv and this poem came to me…enjoy

I’m standing on the plank between heaven and hell

My trembling body starts to crawl to the end

I dip my finger tip into the venomous abyss of hell

Poison races through my blood

I scream in agony as I raise my head to the heavens and

Beg for the mercy of God to take my soul

I see the look of disappointment in my master’s eyes

I bow my head and cringe knowing what I’ve done

I feel a warm touch and I’m refilled with life as I hear the word

                                    Forgiven