Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Just a little bit of something……..

I received my first set of business cards today. I guess this means I’m official now. I feel all grown up, it’s weird. I’m out in the community all the time meeting with people from different organizations so it’s good that I have business cards. I think it’s wise to network and make your self known to others.

I had a great weekend. Friday night I went to see my brother and baby…I love my niece. Then I went out to dinner with Katie at Apple Bees. I don’t like Apple Bees but since Katie likes it, I sacrificed. Our waitress was (let me think of the correct word) ummm…shabby. Our waitress was shabby. But we got a couple of dollars off our meal. I love talking to managers…I always seem to get a discountJ. Saturday night I went out with friends. I e-mailed about seven people and had about twenty come out, so that was cool. I had a hang over Sunday; I guess the drinks didn’t set well with me. Plus, I worked Saturday and Sunday 8-2. Sunday was not pleasant working with a hang over but I managed.

I’m going to Denver Friday. I’m so excited for a mini vacation. I need this so bad. I’m going with Bonny and my sister. My sister is going to see Joe the man she is, “involved” with. Bonny and I are going to visit Jose. We are planning on hiking in the mountains. I haven’t hiked (in the mountains) in three years, it’s long over due. I love to hike and be outdoors; the anticipation is overwhelmingJ. Please say some prayers for a safe trip.

That’s all I have for now……

P.s. Please say prayers for Lisa W. her father passed away Saturday.

Posted by Adonia at 00:26:28 | Permalink | No Comments »

Friday, August 24, 2007

But if I told you, you wouldn’t understand…..

I don’t know how and I’ll never fully understand how poems come to me…but tonight another poem came to me…no rhyme or reason…enjoy!

But if I told you, you wouldn’t understand

And somewhere between the self-destruction and pain

Misery seems to be the only company that suits me

And the tear which falls from my broken heart to my lifeless skin

To my soulless mortal body

That reaches the most depth of my very being

But if I told you, you wouldn’t understand

To my finger tips to my toes

Between the anguish and torture

To the abyss of hell

And the fire of the dammed

To the sin; the murderer of my soul

But if I told you, you wouldn’t understand

From depression to the desolation

The gloom of sadness

That encompasses my intense glare of the wretchedness

To the appearance of the fatality of the fate

Which has slaughtered my existence

But if I told you, you wouldn’t understand

Between the agony and the suffering,

Day to day

Night through night

The darkness consumes me

And takes my last living breath

From my internal organs

And swallows hole the wickedness of the

Defeat from my lifeless body

But if I told you, you wouldn’t understand………………..

Posted by Adonia at 03:16:57 | Permalink | No Comments »

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

If you ever lived in Kansas…


Body:	1.) Kellogg will never be complete..EVER. 2.) The only reason to go to River Fest is for the fireworks and the carnival. 3.) The river is pronounced the Are-Kansas River not ark-en-saw. 4.) For no reason should you ever come in contact with the water in the Arkansas river your skin will burn off. 5.) You honestly believe that the dam by the Keeper of the Plains statue is a waterfall. 6.) Renees or Burrito Express is only to be consumed when drunk. 7.) 99 Beers (the drive thru liquor store) is conveniently located between Quik Trip and Renees which are all centrally located two blocks from the Cop Shop. 8.) You understand why saying, Wichita State Universitys football team has been undefeated for many, many years now, is very funny. 9.) What a Shocker is.besides the sexual term. 10.) You’ve gone to a shopping center and said, I remember when there was a field here. 11.) You’ve gone sledding at the Palace West and understand the necessity of having someone to stop you at the bottom or having the ability to bail off quickly. 12.) Friday nights in the fall are dedicated to high school football. 13.) You’ve gone to see the creepy statue of the kids trying to get out of the backyard on the East side and know at least one story behind it. (they took the statues out btw) 14.) You love to go to haunted houses around Halloween. 15.) You’ve had at least one nightmare featuring Renee Stevens. 16.) You have lost your car in Old Town and decided to just leave it and come back when you’re sober. 17.) You leave your car running with all your stuff in it (including your children) while you run into Quik Trip. 18.) You’ve gotten out of school early because it was snowing so hard. 19.) Anyone over the age of 21 does not go to Grahams unless they are really country. 20.) You’ve gotten stuck on a two-lane road behind a combine. 21.) You’ve waited for a few minutes for a line of ducks to cross the road. 22.) You’ve been in the middle of the city and still almost hit a deer. 23.) You’ve seen an opossum up close and new what it was. 24.) In Old Town, peeing in public is acceptable when you are drunk. 25.) During the summer, Torre’s has dollar slices when the clubs close. 26.) When you go to Old Town, you are guaranteed to see at least five people you know. 27.) You remember KKRD. 28.) You may fight over whether Wesley or St. Francis or St. Joseph is a better hospital, but everyone knows not to go to Riverside. 29.) At Christmas time, you looked forward to Toyboy. 30.) You know that after a heavy rain, youll need a paddle boat to make it down West St. 31.) You know that East 21st Street and West 21st Street do not connect. 32.) You’ve referred to the area near WSU as The Ghetto. 33.) When you’re in North Wichita, you can smell the industrial district. 34.) When youre by Joyland, you can smell the Sewage Department. 35.) You think the Big Ditch is really excellent and useful. 36.) It is very important to yield when entering a round-about because most people dont understand them. 37.) You hate the Wizard of Oz simply because people won’t shut up about Dorothy and Toto. 38.) You get excited when Kansas or Wichita is mentioned on national television. 39.) You know that Topeka is the capital of Kansas and think that Wichita should be instead. 40.) You understand that the Thunder games are strictly for getting shitfaced. 41.) You’ve spent an entire day in the wave pool at FantaSea and you’ve gone down that really tall slide that gives you a wedgie. 42.) You’ve driven alllllll the way to Valley Center to go to Theorosas bridge and told everyone that creepy stuff happened even though it was just your friends being stupid. 43.) Youve gone to Cheney Lake or El Dorado Lake or Lake Afton to get drunk without getting caught. 44.) You’ve been to a party in a field. 45.) IHOP has better food than Village Inn and Dennys but your waitress will probably be the rudest person youve ever met and cuss you out. 46.) You’ve gone mullet hunting. 47.) At the end of an entrance ramp, be prepared to stop, because merging has never and will never exist in Wichita. 48.) You have a Dillons Card. 49.) You know Crazy Mike. 50.) Towne West has pretty much all the same stores as Towne East, but Towne East is still waaaaay better. 51.) When ordering at McDonalds you add Mc to the beginning of everything. 52.) You know a person that has four cars none of which work and needs a ride to work every day. 53.) At the Zoo you’ve been afraid to go into the bat room. 54.) You always wanted to go see the Bubble Guy so he could put you in a bubble. 55.) You thought you were related to someone or knew someone that HAD to be BTK. 56.) Get free food all day because you know somebody that works in just about every restraunt.

Body:

1.) Kellogg will never be complete..EVER.
2.) The only reason to go to River Fest is for the fireworks and the carnival.
3.) The river is pronounced the Are-Kansas River not ark-en-saw.
4.) For no reason should you ever come in contact with the water in the Arkansas river your skin will burn off.
5.) You honestly believe that the dam by the Keeper of the Plains statue is a waterfall.
6.) Renees or Burrito Express is only to be consumed when drunk.
7.) 99 Beers (the drive thru liquor store) is conveniently located between Quik Trip and Renees which are all centrally located two blocks from the Cop Shop.
8.) You understand why saying, Wichita State Universitys football team has been undefeated for many, many years now, is very funny.
9.) What a Shocker is.besides the sexual term.
10.) You’ve gone to a shopping center and said, I remember when there was a field here.
11.) You’ve gone sledding at the Palace West and understand the necessity of having someone to stop you at the bottom or having the ability to bail off quickly.
12.) Friday nights in the fall are dedicated to high school football.
13.) You’ve gone to see the creepy statue of the kids trying to get out of the backyard on the East side and know at least one story behind it. (they took the statues out btw)
14.) You love to go to haunted houses around Halloween.
15.) You’ve had at least one nightmare featuring Renee Stevens.
16.) You have lost your car in Old Town and decided to just leave it and come back when you’re sober.
17.) You leave your car running with all your stuff in it (including your children) while you run into Quik Trip.
18.) You’ve gotten out of school early because it was snowing so hard.
19.) Anyone over the age of 21 does not go to Grahams unless they are really country.
20.) You’ve gotten stuck on a two-lane road behind a combine.
21.) You’ve waited for a few minutes for a line of ducks to cross the road.
22.) You’ve been in the middle of the city and still almost hit a deer.
23.) You’ve seen an opossum up close and new what it was.
24.) In Old Town, peeing in public is acceptable when you are drunk.
25.) During the summer, Torre’s has dollar slices when the clubs close.
26.) When you go to Old Town, you are guaranteed to see at least five people you know.
27.) You remember KKRD.
28.) You may fight over whether Wesley or St. Francis or St. Joseph is a better hospital, but everyone knows not to go to Riverside.
29.) At Christmas time, you looked forward to Toyboy.
30.) You know that after a heavy rain, youll need a paddle boat to make it down West St.
31.) You know that East 21st Street and West 21st Street do not connect.
32.) You’ve referred to the area near WSU as The Ghetto.
33.) When you’re in North Wichita, you can smell the industrial district.
34.) When youre by Joyland, you can smell the Sewage Department.
35.) You think the Big Ditch is really excellent and useful.
36.) It is very important to yield when entering a round-about because most people dont understand them.
37.) You hate the Wizard of Oz simply because people won’t shut up about Dorothy and Toto.
38.) You get excited when Kansas or Wichita is mentioned on national television.
39.) You know that Topeka is the capital of Kansas and think that Wichita should be instead.
40.) You understand that the Thunder games are strictly for getting shitfaced.
41.) You’ve spent an entire day in the wave pool at FantaSea and you’ve gone down that really tall slide that gives you a wedgie.
42.) You’ve driven alllllll the way to Valley Center to go to Theorosas bridge and told everyone that creepy stuff happened even though it was just your friends being stupid.
43.) Youve gone to Cheney Lake or El Dorado Lake or Lake Afton to get drunk without getting caught.
44.) You’ve been to a party in a field.
45.) IHOP has better food than Village Inn and Dennys but your waitress will probably be the rudest person youve ever met and cuss you out.
46.) You’ve gone mullet hunting.
47.) At the end of an entrance ramp, be prepared to stop, because merging has never and will never exist in Wichita.
48.) You have a Dillons Card.
49.) You know Crazy Mike.
50.) Towne West has pretty much all the same stores as Towne East, but Towne East is still waaaaay better.
51.) When ordering at McDonalds you add Mc to the beginning of everything.
52.) You know a person that has four cars none of which work and needs a ride to work every day.
53.) At the Zoo you’ve been afraid to go into the bat room.
54.) You always wanted to go see the Bubble Guy so he could put you in a bubble.
55.) You thought you were related to someone or knew someone that HAD to be BTK.
56.) Get free food all day because you know somebody that works in just about every restraunt.

Posted by Adonia at 23:06:32 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Case Manager

I’ve been thinking a lot about being a case manager and how to describe what it is like. Then it came to me. If you ever watched the movie Hocus Pocus. In the beginning of the movie the witches tie the little girl to a chair and slowly suck the life out of her; that’s what it is like to be a case manager. I have 16 clients and they suck the life out of me. I completely manage their life in almost every aspect. Just stop and think what it would be like to manage someone’s life. You keep all doctor’s appointments, remind them to take meds, go grocery shopping or if they need any personal items, resolve any health problems physical or mental, help with budgeting money, set up all other appointments, go to all appointments, find housing, making sure housing is adequate, help fill out applications, help teach daily living skills, help with any legal trouble, and so much more I can’t think of. Plus, throw SPMI (severe and persistent mental illness) on top of that; the life will get sucked right out of you. Twas…life

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday-AU

Posted by Adonia at 02:45:18 | Permalink | No Comments »

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Misleading

Has someone ever misread you? I have had some problems with guys thinking I like them when I really have no desire for them (in a romantic way) at all. My bubbly personality and kindness is misleading them to believe that my feelings are more than friends. I refuse to change. I’m not going to stop being nice and I don’t feel I’m misleading. I mean I like being bubbly and I can be kind every once in awhileJ. But I have this problem then I have to rewind/reverse and explain me feelings. And the ironic thing is I’m very shy and quiet around someone I like. I won’t talk at all because I’m self consciences and I’m afraid of saying something stupid. I have to be more self-aware of the interaction and misleading I might be causing. Twas life….

I have nothing more….

It’s better to remain silent and thought of a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it-AU

Posted by Adonia at 01:16:32 | Permalink | No Comments »

Monday, August 13, 2007

Bitter-Sweet

I keep writing about a couple I know that are in complete denial of their relationship .I found out this weekend they are no longer “talking” now they are “involved” but they are not dating no-no that would be too big of a step to take. I find it to be funny and I realize their relationship is none of my business but I feel the need to put in my two scentsJ..LOL. I’ve decided that I would look up words related to “involve” so I can be prepared for the next step in their relationship….draw to, compromise, implicate, entangle, link, connect, incriminate(I like this one), associate, relate, suggest, prove, comprise ,point to, commit, and bring up. Time will only tell….maybe they will incriminate each other….LMAO….

My weekend was bitter sweet.

It’s Sunday I’m sitting here watching TV and writing my blog. It’s weird not to work. I feel lazy. I slept 10 hours last night; it was nice. My weekend went fast. Friday at work my co-worker and I got into an argument. I will never understand men. He got mad that I wouldn’t talk to him (he hurt my feelings) and when I talked to him he got mad. What? I’m so through. I used “I” statements I feel this I feel that, but that didn’t work. I’ll never understand men; they’re stupidJ. Then Friday night my sister came into town (she brought Daisy) and we went to a friends going away party. It was fun. Friday is over.

Saturday morning I woke up around 4am. My stomach hurt and I was throwing up (I only had one drink so it wasn’t from alcohol; something I ate); it was not pleasant and lasted a little over two hours. I had to work Saturday morning but didn’t want to leave my co-worker by herself with 12 girls. I was feeling a little better so I decide to go into work. When I got to work my boss was there with the new employee. There was four staff when there was only suppose to be two (I should have stayed home). I lasted about four hours and then I told my boss I was tired and wanted to go home. I went home and took a three hour nap; it was nice. Got up went to church and had dinner with some friends. Jose is leaving (for Colorado ) so I went over to chat and say goodbye. It was hard to say goodbye. I held myself together until I got into my car to leave and then I lost it. It’s sad to see one of my best friends leave. But I think Bonny and I are going to visit him over Labor Day weekendJ. Saturday is over.

Today I woke up after 11am, ran some errands and now I’m doing laundry.

Posted by Adonia at 01:53:17 | Permalink | No Comments »

Friday, August 10, 2007

something

I was going to write about how people make the same mistake over and over again then stupidity sets in and they continue to go backward in the great of scheme of things….whatever…..love is so BLIND!!!!

I don’t feel like writing about that.

I’ve been so tired this week. I worked last weekend and went out with my friends. It’s killing me this week. I’ve been in a daze. Last day I remember was Monday and now it’s almost Friday. TGIF!!!! My clients are stressing me out. They are so ungrateful. The most ungrateful people I know…screw them. I love helping people but just a little bit of gratitude would be most appreciated.

I’m cleaning my apartment tonight. I’m having friends over tomorrow and I want my apartment to look decent. I’ve been looking all over the place for my nails so I can start hanging pictures but no luck so far. My sister is coming in town tomorrow…YEA!! She better bring DaisyJ

I’m taking Sunday off. My first Sunday off since probably May and I’m super excited. I’m going to stay in my pj’s all dayJ!!! I can’t wait.

I have nothing more to say…I’ll write more on Sunday.

Posted by Adonia at 00:14:17 | Permalink | Comments (1) »

Monday, August 6, 2007

The Way I See It #279

Beware of turning into the enemy you most fear.

All it takes is to lash out violently at someone

who has done you some grievous harm,

proclaiming that only your pain matters in this world.

More than against that person’s body,

You will then,

At that moment,

Be committing a crime against your own imagination.

Ariel Dorfman-Novelist, playwright and essayist

Posted by Adonia at 23:13:39 | Permalink | No Comments »

Sunday, August 5, 2007

I have nothing to talk about really…so this is probably going to be a random ramble of me.

I’m going out tonight with my friends. It’s going to be nice hanging around people that are my age that aren’t crazy. I’m excitedJ I might have a drink or two…maybe three…nah I have to work tomorrow so probably just one or twoJ .

I worked today at SA it was great. I love my teenagers. I think I might be teaching them a thing or two. I’m still looking for another job. I don’t know where I want to work; this is the problem I’m running into. I’ll just keep looking.

I went to church tonight and there is ONE thing that I can’t stand; people that leave church early. Is an hour so much? I mean Jesus did give his life for us and is an hour just too much? Really is it? I can’t stand it!! I’ve got calm down……breathe……

I need to start hanging pictures up. My walls are bare and I can’t stand to look at them anymore. But I’m not spending anymore money on my apartment until September. I decided before moved that I was going to work extra so I would break even. And I worked hard and broke even YEA!!! I’m excited. I actually came out on top…whoop whoop. Moving was VERY expensive. But working hard does pay off. Anyway, since I spent alot of money moving and I’m ahead I don’t want to get behind so I’m not spending anymore money this month. I do have some pictures that I can hang….I need to find my hammer and nails.

My co-worker and I got into a fight at work….a physical fight. Aaron just thinks he is better than me…which he isn’t. We have that twisted brother-sister I want to beat the living crap out of you kind of relationship. Well…he beat the crap out of me. I have bruises to show for it. And I tried to bit him but the little prick is stronger than me and wouldn’t let me….it was all in good funJ.

I love the view out of my living room. You look out and see the river and trees it’s so pretty. I’m so blessed to have such a nice apartment. I have found two spiders; one in the toilet…weird and the other in my shower. I assume that these are water spiders since I live by water. At least I’m not living with brown recluses like at my last apartment.

That’s all folks. I have to get ready to go out.

An empty heart is the only poverty you should fear-AU

Posted by Adonia at 02:01:21 | Permalink | No Comments »

Friday, August 3, 2007

Fairy Tales

I’m not giving up and this is not a pity party…this is just how feel!!! I’m letting go of the dream. The dream to get married and become some man’s wife. I’ve been feeling this way for months now and it’s about time…..I let go. Fairy Tales are for little girls and I’m definitely not a little girl anymoreJ. And I know all my married readers are going tell me, “I thought it would never happen to me either and now look.” I don’t want to hear that, so please keep comments like that to yourself. I not trying to be mean BUT I can’t let go of the feelings that are consuming my insides. I just have to let go. I get asked at least once a week, “Are you dating anyone?” and then I get that sympathetic response, “Ohhhh it will be okay don’t worry you’ll find someone.” BS. I hate when someone tells me that. Not to sound like I’m in the bitter barn, which I’m not. I can’t help how I feel. And I feel like there is a part of me missing and it’s out there somewhere, but there’s nothing. I don’t know…I really want to be a wife and a mother. I want to have dinner on the table when my husband comes home from work, even after I’ve worked I would still want to cook (I love to cook). And I definitely want to have children. But as I’ve previously stated….I’m letting go of the dream. People say, “You can make your dreams come true.” But I’ve searched high and low and trust me sometimes you must come to the realization that some dreams won’t come true and that’s okay….that’s life. So I guess I’ll just live my life…loving God, my family and friends.

If you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are-

Posted by Adonia at 02:21:04 | Permalink | No Comments »

August 2007
M	T	W	T	F	S	S
« Jul				Sep »
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31

AGAPE

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Just a little bit of something……..

Friday, August 24, 2007

But if I told you, you wouldn’t understand…..

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

If you ever lived in Kansas…

Case Manager

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Misleading

Monday, August 13, 2007

Bitter-Sweet

Friday, August 10, 2007

something

Monday, August 6, 2007

The Way I See It #279

Ariel Dorfman-Novelist, playwright and essayist

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Friday, August 3, 2007

Fairy Tales